#0056 Black, Female, and Boundaried: The Price of Professionalism

Hey Loved One,

Apparently I'm racist.

That’s the feedback a client of mine received from one of their customers. Not just racist, but arrogant too.

The reason? An associate of the customer had sent me an email. I responded professionally. Friendly, even.

After that, the customer themselves tried to contact me via my personal social media to ask business-related questions. I told him it wasn’t appropriate to contact me on my personal accounts and that he should use the proper channels.

Because their colleague is apparently white, someone I’ve never seen or met, and because I had the audacity to draw a professional boundary, that led to the accusations. And a couple of disparaging messages about me in a WhatsApp group.

What’s so interesting is how some, not all, Black individuals and organisations are allergic to applying professional ways of working. A friend of mine calls it “Babylon working” or what some might see as a ‘Black European’ approach to professionalism. I’ve seen this mindset across some of our organisations and it’s killing our institutions.

Let’s be clear, my point isn’t that white counterparts do it better. That’s not what I’m saying.

What I am saying, unapologetically, is this: if we’re operating in an environment where the majority isn’t us, we need to structure in a way that helps us survive. Our value system doesn’t have to be the same. Our intentions around who we serve can stay rooted in community. But understanding and using the culture as part of your armour is just smart.

Some of my favourite Black-owned brands have seasoned professionals at the helm. People who also work with major, household names. And yet, I remember a spate of stories where things ended up in the court of social media, crying foul play when clients skipped out without paying. Or situations where people ignored professional advice and left their organisations legally vulnerable. You want a really recent example, American designer Dapper Dan sent multiple cease and desist letters to his son, via Instagram. Others just don't run their businesses this way.

Look, running a business is hard AF and I don't have all the answers. I’m also definitely not perfect. But I do long for the day we understand the play well enough to beat the proverbial “them” at their own game, to our benefit.

I have many friends who now say they won’t work with Black organisations again because of that extra layer of emotional tax. The emotional tax of seeing your own fall into the trap of believing that struggle and community should be the only values we build with.

I once heard a story from someone working in the charity sector. They said their white colleagues often struggled to differentiate between the Black people they were fundraising for and the Black professionals they were working alongside. To them, all were the same.

And I wonder, do we have a similar problem within our own communities? When the specialist looks like us, do we automatically mistrust or undervalue them? Has that triple-checking of Black professionals been coded into us too?

There are many, many exceptions to this. But I’ll raise my hand to my own prejudice here. I often see this mindset in leaders of a certain generation. The ones who now refuse to see that painful processes and lack professionalism needn't be how things are.

If we can’t collectively agree on a standard we hold each other to, with care and accountability, then our values aren’t truly aligned.

In other news…

If you haven't caught up yet, there are multiple new episodes of Unboxed, my voice-note style podcast over on Spotify.

You might be interested in the following episodes

• I don't have to carry it all - and neither do you

• We know this story: so we are we still expecting more my take on a recent story that Black people are still not offered opportunities behind the scenes in television

• Calling the locksmith after the break in why Black people need to spend more focus on intellectual property and representation

And finally, your prompt of the week is taken from my Roots. Renewal and Rise deck which you can get from my shop:

“What drains my energy faster than anything else?”

If anything I create resonates with you make sure you share with others in your network and if you're feeling extra generous, you can even buy me a coffee and a slice of cake.

Until next time,