#0051 I made a mistake...

Hey Loved One,

Long time no see. I hope you’ve been keeping safe and I appreciate those of you who’ve asked where I’ve been. It’s been two fold: 1. I took on the 2025 Windrush Caribbean Film Festival and am running it this year so have been consumed. 2. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to say. I didn’t want this to become a space where my frustrations bled into my messages to you.

I have missed connecting with you though. And I realised that I’d allowed my tunnel vision for work and desire for excellence to sweep through and throw me off the things I like doing. This national project is stretching me and forcing me to grow in my leadership. I’m being asked to expand beyond my comfort zone and understand new people, different ways of working. Some days I hate it because it’s uncomfortable and challenging but most of the time I take it for what it is: an opportunity for discovery.

The biggest lesson I’m learning though is about myself. The way I work. My expectations of myself and others. It is also a reminder of how capable I am and how I’ve been misusing that capability.

I am a fixer. You show me a challenge, I’ll find a solution. That trait has meant that in the next few weeks I’m announcing a project with an internationally recognised, iconic music venue. I’ve proven - repeatedly - that when given the room, I will go to work. It has served people well but I haven’t been using it to honour myself.

A lot of self reflection has made me realise that it is stems from my childhood. Seeing the sacrifices my mother made for me meant I wanted to make sure that she was seen and taken care of because I never really saw anyone do that for her. I’m so used to giving now it’s a default position.

When a friend from university told me he’s taking me to dinner the next time he’s in London because he wanted to treat me my instant reaction was to panic. Why should he do that for me? I won’t even let my sister-wife do for me. But I know I wouldn’t think twice about doing that for someone else. Recognising that reality has put me on a mission to break what is literally the habit of a lifetime which means changes to my personal and professional practice. It is an act of self care, self honour to allow someone to care for you. It is healing and nurturing to allow someone to pour into you. So I apologise to all my loved ones that it took me so long to get to this realisation.

So the mistake I made? Overthinking our interactions to the point of paralysis. Letting work come between me and something I enjoy. Letting perfectionism get in the way. And you know what? I’m learning to also allow myself the scope to make those mistakes. To be imperfect. To accept that sometimes you need to step back in order to reconnect and reframe what’s important to you. To put my needs first. Because I deserve it. And doing that allows me to give the best to everyone else around me.

In my time away though I’ve continued to be creative.

As the one who’s always in charge sometimes you don’t always have time to reflect on what you’re doing because you’re always…well…doing. As someone who loves to reflect that led me to develop The 360 Business Decks.

There are three business sets:

1. Foundation + Flow to help you evaluate your business operations and processes

2. People Practice with prompts to help you and your team reflect on how you work together

3. Restore and Rise which is almost like a soulful personal evaluation of your leadership within your business.

These digital cards are filled with over 70 prompts to help you evaluate where you are as a leader, where your business is operationally, and to help you connect you with your team, if you have one.  Really I made these for me as I don’t have a day to day business partner. There are times that I myself have gasped at how I’ve been challenged to reflect. I believe in business (and at work) we’re always just expected to perform. We value skill, expertise but dismiss the human side of us. These prompts are meant to help you have the space to reflect by writing or typing the answers to the questions, giving you to really think about what you and your business needs.

I need to reflect on where I was going personally so I developed a fourth deck, Roots. Renewal. Rise. A deck to speak to you personally and help you unpick what you want for yourself. I randomly picked a prompt from this deck for you to reflect on: what titles, labels and expectations am I ready to release about myself? The decks are available of my newly revamped website.

I’ve missed being here. Thank you for being patient with me. I hope this space continues to meet you where you are.

Until next time,

P.S. Have you heard about YouTuber and self titled inequality economist Gary Stevenson? Here, I breakdown his communications strategy and show you how to use it to your own advantage.