#0047 The invoice I wish I could send...

Hey Loved One,

How’s it all going? What are the things that are lighting up your world?

I kept thinking I should write about Valentine’s Day but I’ll be honest, I knew it was there but then didn’t. I am so focused on diving into my drive and chasing the freedom and changes I’m building for myself that I missed it. It’s been a while since I felt so hungry for more and, most importantly, trusting and knowing that it’s something within my grasp?

Like I am in the early stages of full audacity mode, to the point I keep asking myself: are you crazy?! And that’s when I know I’m on the right path and it’s an exciting and addictive place to be. You know when you can just see it, taste it, feel it? When you’re like why wouldn’t that be possible? Sure I’ve never seen anyone do it but so what?!

You can tell I’m gone, right?

Stalking that feeling meant that I missed our 1st anniversary. I swear this is the perfect demonstration of why there’s an ongoing debate about dating an entrepreneur. You have to have the absolute patience of a saint or in the game too so you can understand each other.

Anyway February 12 2024, was the first proper edition of this publication under the title The Black Female Narrative. I have been writing to you (almost weekly) for a year and I am grateful to you at whatever stage you’ve joined me on this journey.

It never fails to shock me when I’m talking to someone and they say they read my random words, especially from people I might not see daily (Special shout out to Mercy). So you all are my (belated) Valentine’s this year!

HAPPY ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY LOVED ONES!
I PROMISE TO DO BETTER NEXT YEAR!

It’s also likely that I wasn’t paying attention last week because I caught myself deep in untangling a situation that wasn’t mine to fix. A habit I really need to get out of.

Somewhere between repeating myself and mentally drafting the response they should’ve figured out themselves, it hit me: if I invoiced for emotional labour, I’d be on a solid six-figure month.

So, if I were billing for the pure audacity of it all, the invoice would look something like this:

• Boundary-Testing Fees £500/hr: For making me repeat myself when I was already clear. Repetition is for affirmations, not foolishness.

• Mental Bandwidth Drainage £750/min: For living in my head rent-free.

• Unpaid Strategy Consulting £4,500:

  For the free advice you took, implemented, and somehow forgot where it came from.

• Emotional Recovery Fee £999.99: For the time spent getting my head back in the game because somehow, your mess turned into my problem.

Total? More than I can afford to lose and, ultimately, more than the other person deserves.

The Real Takeaway

Emotional labour is real. And too often, we absorb it without even clocking that it’s happening.

We smooth things over. We hold space for people who don’t hold space for us. We navigate egos, clean up other people’s messes, and keep things moving. And the kicker? We don’t charge for it. But we should.

So here’s my new rule, one of the many gifts I intend to give myself this year: If it’s costing me peace, clarity, or time I can’t get back, it’s too expensive to give away for free.

What’s one thing you’ve been giving away that should’ve been invoiced? Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to hear about it.

Until next week, loved one

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