#0045 Who's in your village?

Hey Loved One,

How’s it going? Between the deadline for the first (and most important) assignment for my course (who sent me, please?!), recovering from the latest lurgies the littlest carried home and running the business, we’re definitely back on the treadmill. I've also been making some seismic changes and being very intentional about where my energy goes. If it’s not working, we’re moving on.

My friend D, a spiritualist by my definition, has assured me that though these moves are unsettling, it’s all par for the course. A firm believer in numerology, she explained that 2025 is a ‘9’ year, the end of an era, a time to let go of all that doesn’t serve you. The first 31 days of the year have definitely supported the theory.

With change comes new opportunities and fresh thinking. One of my reflections has been on the power of your personal and professional village.

I have a sister-wife (SW), so called because I’ve decided we’re going to retire together on a compound in Ghana. She and I have children similar ages, all boys. Her three are 18, 8, and 5. Mine 16 and 4.

As my eldest approaches the final four months before sitting his GCSEs, I’m constantly on the lookout for resources to give him that edge. I remembered a platform called IXL that focuses on English, Maths, and Science from Reception right up to GCSE (Science stops at Year 9, unfortunately). My mum had invested in it when my eldest was younger, and I spoke to SW about it. We decided we would invest in it for the boys and split the cost between us.

Over the weekend, we checked in on each other. Assessing how the boys had taken to it and it struck me how valuable it is to have someone with shared aspirations for your children. We were making a collective investment in their futures.

This isn’t the first time we’ve done this. We’re on a mission to set up structures to build pockets of money for them, and we split an adult learning subscription so we too could learn.

SW is truly another co-parent and an important part of my village, and whilst what we’re doing isn’t novel, it made me wonder how many people still proactively club together? This was the way of our parents’ generation through things like pardnar or osusu as it's known in Sierra Leone. I know it was a massive practice by Windrush Caribbeans when they came to this country, often partnering to buy homes together.

It also made me consider how intentional I’m being about my own personal development. I’d definitely not slacked over the years, but now I realise I’m hungry to do some deeper work. So I’ve decided to build a personal board. I found this brilliant article by Harvard Business Review, which explains it all really well.

It’s not the same as having a chat with your mates. These are strategically chosen people who have been where you want to go. Who have lived experience and can offer real guidance.

Sometimes you’re so immersed in the work that you don't intentionally take time to see the bigger picture. January really surfaced that for me.

For example, I had to reevaluate a valued business relationship. For a long time, the client would reach out, and I’d show out. I’d bring my A game for whatever project I was being commissioned to do and produce impactful results, sometimes critically so. However, I realised that whilst those projects had flourished, there had never been any true growth for me. Every commission I received was the same: high expectations and base rates. A hangover from the years we'd worked together. It’s not their fault. It’s a choice I made every time based on shared passions but with a lack of focus on my real priority: Me.

So we’re going to be better in this year of our 2025. Do I know who my first pick is for my squad? Nope, but I’m on the lookout. This a marathon, not a sprint.

My ultimate point is could building a personal and/or professional board of directors be helpful to you, too? Opportunities are readily out there, and maybe your board could be the ones to help you see or find them to the benefit of you and your loved ones.

Let me know your thoughts - do you collectively parent? How has it unexpectedly served you? Do you already have a board? How did it help you?

Until next week, loved one

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