#0032 Pick your battles

Hey Loved One,

Last week I attended the Presidential installation of British actor Ray Fearon at Rose Bruford College which is a drama school. Invited by the Principle, I’ll be honest I didn’t want to go, mainly because the pandemic made me a homebody, but I’m glad I did as it was an inspirational experience. Along with Fearon, comedian Mo Gillian received an honorary fellowship.

I can’t express what it was like to see an all Black line up - including outgoing president and writer Bernadine Evaristo - in the upper echelons of this school. It was interesting to hear their individual stories of how life as a creative coupled with their Blackness made them wonder whether they would be given a real opportunity to thrive in the industry. Thankfully, they would see success in their lifetime. All in all it was a time of celebration and chatter and then within thirty minutes of me leaving the ceremony I was surrounded by kids, leading my 4-year-old home. It was like I'd crossed into another world.

Heinz gets into hot water

One of the things that also struck me in the last 7 days was the massive hurrah about an advert produced by the brand Heinz (pictured above). The household name came under fire for centralising a Black bride but without a Black father figure present. Now as the thought pieces poured out across social media I admit my spirit was like “must everything be a fight”? At the risk of being labelled a cousin of Kemi “racism doesn’t exist” Badenoch, we know that there’s nowhere the insidiousness of racism doesn’t permeate, however, I also think we should pick our battles.

Whilst I understand that it’s not everyday we have Black women feature front and centre in a campaign, it’s also not unusual or impossible to see single parent families in the Black community. The general feeling was that Heinz had inadvertently racially stereotyped the bride by giving her an absent father. It couldn’t possibly be that he father had passed or even she could have be conceived in a test tube, the default position we reached - not anyone else - was that it must be because her father was deadbeat. I think the reaction speaks more to our trauma as a community than to Heinz’s choice of creative direction and casting. This particular advert does not compare to the issues raised when H&M put a Black boy in a monkey jumper when we know the term ‘monkey’ is quite a triggering and derogatory term used against Black people. (Just got a flashback of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness from GCSE English).

I think we need to be more discerning about which battles we undertake. There’s nothing unrealistic about the scene depicted. To be honest, I feel it was more about some men feeling their absence with posts declaring “Black men can be fathers too!”. Black women regularly see and live with themselves often being erased or omitted as a protagonist in ads. Heinz apologised but I think the trauma response has little to do with the erasure of men and everything to do with a tough wound that we have to heal amongst ourselves.

We also need to think carefully of what we want to prioritise when it comes to how we are perceived in the mainstream. I am more concerned that we are shown as what we are: capable, vibrant, equal and the like rather than trying to present a perfect version of ourselves.

A few of my favourite things

A few of my favourite things this week:

Me and Mo: it was nice to see how humble Mo Gilligan is. He explained that going to a drama school like Rose Bruford was never something he thought was possible for him as a kid from South London. It was emotional to see how grateful he was to be acknowledged in this way and made me sad at the amount of talent potentially squandered because they were never shown that creative schools were for them.

Ode to scotch bonnet: I'm obsessed with Scotch Bonnet at the moment. For those who don’t know, it is a gorgeous type of pepper that gives a rich flavour as well as heat to any dish. If you’re brave you can add the seeds once chopped up or put it whole into stews. Vex as my two local Sainsbury's have stopped selling them so if you have a connect tell them to put them back on the shelves please! Brekkie consisted of eggs with pancetta, shiitake mushrooms, cavolo nero and, of course, scotch bonnet.

The Dream Suit: A picture of a women’s suit by one of my business icons, Oswald Boateng. A suit from Ozzie can set you back a cool £1500 and has a very distinctive look. Can’t wait to have my own one day.

What I’m watching

Starting 5 (Netflix) - I’m indifferent to basketball but what I do love is the focus, the dedication, the relentlessness of the coaches and players. I laid in bed with a sneaky bag of popcorn after the baby fell asleep to hear Jimmy Butler, Anthony Edwards, Domantas Sabonis, Jayson Tatum and LeBron James talk about how they deal with physical pain, family life, grief, loss and losing, ambition and the values they hold to become some of the most accomplished men in the game today. There are so many lessons you can apply to any life: the importance of taking care of your body, placing a high value on family, picking a partner who understands and supports the hustle so you can go far and, most importantly, bring them with you.

One thing that I noticed about the players - and also the successful creatives around me - is that they never say ‘if’ or ‘maybe’. For them, it’s just a case of ‘when’. They have an unfailing belief in their sauce and it is as inspiring AF.

The Starting 5 - which is produced by Barack and Michelle Obama - is streaming now on Netflix.

By the way, this week is National Business Women’s Week. If you're a woman in a business - I know there are a few of you that read and support - I salute you. Hard.

Until next time